yellow like stardust - Short Fiction

1
Yellow

I walk to the market by myself.

There’s always a fuss when I leave the house. Throughout my stay, I am never allowed to step outside the house for leisure activities (it has been so long since I last saw the ducks along Canopy river)- but, when they need groceries, they let me go with a strict time limit.

“She is special, so she needs special attention,” Godma explains to Mrs Tang, our next door neighbour as I leave. They are leaning on the white rickety fence, separating the two houses. “She’s mad, and should be locked up,” Mrs Tang whispers. Godma nods and looks at me.

It has been like this since the start. The mocking whispers and insults. Godma and Mrs Tang first talked about my poverty like it was an illness, when I was 11. Then they moved on to my illegitimacy, and finally now onto claims of my madness. While the first two are true, I have absolutely no clue how they came up with this latest slander. I have not displayed any signs of madness, most likely.

Except for when they caught me talking to animals. I was waving my arms up and down frantically to my friend, Little Miss Blue the bluebird, because I had an exciting thought to share.

“Blue, Blue! I have a new revelation!”

“What is it, Yellow?”

“Time moves so…so unevenly! Tell me, tell me, how long is autumn?”

“About 3 months,” Blue replied.

“Exactly! And how long is winter, and spring and summer?”

“They are around 3 months as well.”

“Then, how long does it take for each season to change into the next one, Blue?”

“I am not sure. The change is so fast and hard to catch.”

“Precisely my point! At the end of autumn when the leaves are still orange and red- tiny snowflakes already start falling. Then…then winter arrives without warning! What if our lives move like this too? Meaning that as our lives remain constant for now, suddenly something will come crashing and flip our world upside down? Our lives, and us, are an extension of nature after all. I have a feeling that a great change will happen to me very soon!”

“That is really interesting, Yellow. I have never thought of time and change that way before. You really ARE yellow.”

It is always yellow with me. Yellow was the word scrawled on my arm when I arrived on my dad’s doorstep as a newborn babe, and Yellow was what he had always called me from then on. He had always teased me as being ‘yellow’- bright and optimistic even when it seemed like the world was against me.

I never had any normal friends, only animals. Animals love my smell. They say I smell like a freshly baked lemon meringue tart (which is yellow). Even my scent is yellow.

Typical.

2
Yellow

Sometimes I wonder if my life would be different had my mother not abandoned me.

After my first year at the house, when I was 11- I spent the whole winter thinking about it. Thinking about all the people I could have met. All the things I could have achieved. The love. The laughter. The community.

All these seem impossible in the light of day. Especially when you wake up in a room filled with soot and cobwebs and your Godma and god sisters screaming at you.

After 3 years of self-pity at 14 I was determined to just live up to my name, to be as ‘yellow’ as possible. To think only positive thoughts. Being hopeful gives me the strength to go on.

3
Godma

Too pretty. She looks too pretty.

She reminds me of him. Golden blonde hair, deep blue eyes, poster child smile. She even got his dimples and light freckles on her cheeks. If life is a drama, she will be the main character, the one who saves the day and the one who will get the happy ending. The protagonist everyone is rooting for.

I can’t look her in the eye. A great rush of hatred will form within me. I shout at her to give her household chores to do and ignore her otherwise. This is the best for both of us.

4
Yellow

I hear the doorbell ring and go to the door. A letter just came in the mail. I open and read it.

Dear All Esteemed Families
You are invited to the Crown Prince’s 23rd Birthday Celebration at the Castle’s Main Ballroom, a week from today. Be prepared to dance the night away! Refreshments and light snacks provided. Attire is formal ballroom wear. Suits for gentlemen and ball gowns for ladies. We hope to see you there.
From
The Royal Castle

“What is that, Yellow?” Godma asks.

“It’s a letter from the castle! It’s saying that we are invited to the Prince’s birthday celebration!” I replied.

“Give me that!” Godma snarls and snatches the letter from me. She scans it and I can almost see the cogs in her mind turning.

“Annabelle, Arabella and Angelique, we are going shopping for ballroom dresses! We are all going to the Prince’s birthday celebration!” Godma shrieks. My three god sisters clap their hands in excitement.

Once again, I am invisible to them. No matter, I am going to this celebration too. This can be my big break! I am going to wear my lovely pink dress. This is the only thing I own that belonged to my mum. It has ribbons and little roses all over, and romantic lace details at the bottom hems.

* * *

It couldn’t have been a worse week. I am sitting on the window ledge and holding my now destroyed pink dress. This must have been the work of Godma. She hates me. Godma and my god sisters have already left for the ball. I have no other dresses to wear. I put my head in my hands and sob hopelessly. I really want to go to the ball…

What if…I actually still went there, but in my rags? What would the Prince say? That makes me giggle. I would go in my rags, messy hair and tear stained face. Everyone would be flabbergasted. I am full of laughter now. Godma is right, maybe I really am insane. I howl with laughter, tears of mirth streaming down my face. Just then, I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around. A big woman with puffy hair appears in front of me.

She kicks some leaves on the ground and straightens her dress. “Well, Yellow, you caught me just in time. I was about to end my fairy godmother duties for the day. So what do you need help with?”

“I’m sorry, fairy godmother?” I smirk, this must be some sort of prank that Godma is pulling on me. Come to think of it, this woman does look a little like Godma.

“You can be quite dense. I am your fairy godmother, and it seems like your ballgown is ruined. Am I right?”

“Err…y…yes…” I stutter.

“Let me fix it for you.”

She asks me to close my eyes and I hear her voice fading in the background.

“Remember, the spell only works till midnight…”

I nod and when I next open my eyes, I appear at the Prince’s ball with a brand new blue dress! It isn’t nearly as pretty as my pink dress, but it will do for the ball.

5
Yellow’s diary

Dear Diary,
The night flew past splendidly. The Prince fell in love with me and asked for my hand in marriage. Godma and god sisters starred in me in shock and disgust but they couldn’t take away my happiness. Then later in the night the Prince and I got tired of dancing and went to his room for some fun. At midnight when the bell struck I rushed out and left my bra behind. I was whisked back home, to my dusty old room. That night would always stay in my memories.

Then the next day there was a nationwide search to find me. Godma and my god sisters locked me in my room. But Little Miss Blue the bluebird chirped and chirped and led the Prince to me. My lovely breasts fit the bra and I was transported in the Prince’s carriage to the royal castle. I am now writing this while sitting on my royal bed using my royal pen. In a few minutes I will have my royal breakfast served to me on a golden royal tray. Life is amazing right now. I look back at my years of misery and realise that they have made me into a stronger person. Godma, I sincerely thank you and forgive you for all you have done. Without your treatment of me, I would not have learnt how to stay true to myself and be ‘yellow’ in all circumstances. Then I will not have my happy ending. You were the villain in my fairytale, and for that, I will always hold you in my heart.

Love
Yellow

6
Godma

I am sorry, Yellow. I wish I could live my life all over again.

Then I wouldn’t have met him. He was the most handsome man in the room and I fell in love with him…

Then it was just me. And you. I hated myself for what I did and I hated you for who you reminded me of.

I hope you are living the life you deserve right now. Away from me and away from abuse.

I am sorry Yellow.

Oh Yellow, Yellow. My darling child. May you shine like stardust forever.